What is in a name?
by SilverMidnight52
Summary: Sirius Black has a daughter. What has her life been life while her father was in Azkaban? What happens now that she's with him?
1. Chapter 1

New story. Don't own. Abusive themes. Happy ending. Enjoy.

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What is in a name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. And that's what I am. I am Rose Black. That's right, my father is the infamous Sirius Black, the right old bastard that sold his friends out to Voldemort.

At least that's what people say. I've never been able to bring myself up and say my father did the things he's accused of. Maybe that's because he's my father and I look up to him, but I just have feeling in my gut that he didn't do it.

Anyway, as I said before my name is Rose Black and today is my first day at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I can't say I'm not afraid, but I hope that people can look past my father and see me. I should have known I was being too naïve.

For the past eleven years I have been living with, more like working for, my cousin and his parents. Yes, the one and only prat of all prats, Draco Malfoy is my cousin. How did I get the misfortune you might ask?

See, when my father allegedly told Voldemort about the Potter family and was sent to Azkaban Professor Dumbledore gave me to them to take care of me. Since my dad was the only Black not to get into Slytherin and befriended who he did you can see the problem.

Living with the Malfoy's, I decided to keep the last name Black, was hell on earth, I was basically a slave for them. I was worked like a house elf and beaten constantly, but I never let that get in my way. I knew I was a witch and when I got to Hogwarts I was going to prove them wrong and not be in Gryffindor.

That was before I heard about whom my father was. When I found out I cried for awhile before pulling myself together. Lucius wanted me to break down, to stop fighting, and I wouldn't give him the pleasure of that.

Then I got a letter from Hogwarts saying that they wanted me to intend. Lucius was furious at first, but than cooled off and got me what I needed. The first wand that was put in my hand, Sandalwood nine and a half inches with unicorn hair in the core was the only wand I needed to try.

They then sent me to the school and told me that before long I would be begging to come back. I didn't get what they meant, but than I remembered my father. It was widely known about him.

On the train it took me forever to find a place to sit alone, but no one ever did join me. I wasn't sure why until I got off the train. Draco was telling everyone that I was just like my father that I was out for blood.

Since it started as a simple rumor everyone heard about it and no one knew me well enough to say I wasn't. I wasn't even five minutes into my first school year at Hogwarts and everyone hated me. The whole thing continued down hill from there.

I was near the middle of the call list for the hat. When it was placed on my head I didn't jump like everyone else. I had read enough books to know all I needed to know about Hogwarts and magic itself, although I wasn't expecting the hat to yell out Gryffindor.

As I suspected, everyone knew who I was at that time and they also knew my father. No one clapped when I was separated into Gryffindor. I'm almost positive I heard people say that the hat was an idiot for putting me in anything else but Slytherin.

For my first year of school I spent all of my time reading and studying. I kept practicing any spell I could get my hands on. I barely noticed anything that was going on around me.

The teachers even acted weirdly around me. None of them liked me and would dock points for things that made no sense to anyone. I was alone and I was starting to feel my reserve cracking, but I didn't stop. That year, I received the highest markings in my year.

Summer was as fun as I expected. It didn't matter that I proved I was smarter than the rest of the kids. I was still treated as a slave. I didn't understand why people didn't like me.

On my birthday I didn't get a break or anything. I continued to work. The house elves wouldn't even talk to me. They were all too scared that I was like my father, but I continued to believe my father didn't do anything they said they did.

The beating got worse over the summer until I was almost too weak to walk. Lucius got my books for Hogwarts and I was on the train again. And just like last time no one dared come into my compartment.

Throughout the year I was working so hard that I had to go to Madam Pomfrey because of starvation. I still didn't stop though. The spells I was learning were advanced for my age and I needed to prefect them.

Then the Chamber of Secrets opened and students started to get hurt. For the first time ever I was scared to be at Hogwarts. All of the students blamed me. Some of them went as far as to beat me up.

When they found out it wasn't me I didn't get an apology. No one said a damned word to me. I began to truly believe that no one wanted me alive. On the last night of school I decided to try to take my life.

Dumbledore must have seen something wrong because he was watching me the whole night. His eyes were barreling into mine and an owl dropped a letter into my lap. I was shocked at first, but when I saw that it was from Dumbledore I sighed sadly. He just wanted to see me in his office.

That night he tried to get me to talk. I couldn't. I couldn't explain to him how much it hurt to know people hated me for no reason. He stood next to me and told me his door was always open for me.

When I got to my room I found that I couldn't bring myself to do it. Everything Dumbledore said made me feel like I was finally not alone, even if I couldn't talk to him myself yet.

That year I received the highest marks in my year again and no one said anything again. This summer was just like last summer and my birthday was like any other day of the week.

Then the news came. My father had broken out of Azkaban. When Lucius gave me the books for the New Year I was tempted to beg for him to let me stay, but I didn't. I knew that he would send me just as a punishment.

Right before school started I found a new habit that seemed to help me. At least it made me feel anything but the numb feeling that was looming over me. I had started to hurt myself.

I read every book I could find on self-mutilation. I didn't find out a lot, but it didn't stop me. As dangerous as it was I didn't want to stop. I knew it was a step in the direction of killing myself.


	2. Chapter 2

Getting on the train to Hogwarts was the same as always, until a couple of boys came and pushed me into their compartment. Throughout most of the ride they beat me bloody.

When the train stopped and went black I was able to get out of the compartment and into a new one. The door swung open and a figure came in the room. I wondered what it was, but it hit me that it was a Dementor.

Dementors were the Azkaban guards. They sucked the happiness out of you, but I felt nothing. A Patronus appeared causing the Dementor to flee. A man, years older than me asked if I was alright, but I just looked up at him and kept my face emotionless, when inside I was wondering why I was unaffected.

He left awhile later since I wouldn't answer him. I got off the bus like it was nothing all the while being pushed and hit by random people. I wanted nothing more than to go to my bed and sleep, but I couldn't.

I found out that the man who used his Patronus was Professor Remus Lupin, the new Defense against the Dark Arts teacher. His eyes meant mine and he smiled, but I could show nothing in return.

My studies had gotten to the point where I had taught myself how to do a Patronus myself. As Lupin's was a wolf, mine was Lynx. Throughout the year I decided that I wanted to learn how to be an Animagus.

When I got to Professor Lupin's class he had a boggart. My turn came up and it turned into me. How was it that before I knew it my biggest fear was myself? No one knew what was going on, but a quick tug on my sleeve I realized that I feared what I would do to myself and others.

Lupin asked me to stay after class. Once everyone was gone he asked me about the boggart. I wanted to tell him something, but I kept my mouth shut and left the classroom.

It was the day to go to Hogsmeade, I couldn't go though, and even if I could I doubt I would. So the rest of the day was spent trying to change myself into an Animagus all the while wondering what I would be.

Hours later the golden trio found me by the lake reading. Harry started to yell at me. He told me it was my fault, that I should die, and all these things. I thought he knew about my father, but I guess he didn't.

Ron and Hermione just stood there letting him yell until he started to get physical. I knew that Hermione wanted to stop me, but she probably thought I deserved it. I could tell that's what Ron thought.

When Harry left it was hard to breath, but I was used to it. I grabbed my book and went into my room. Once I made sure no one could see or hear me I took a razor out of my pocket and slit my wrists open once more before passing out.

Then my father tore the painting of the fat lady and broke into the Gryffindor tower. I was blamed for both things and beat up twice. Founding out it was Neville's fault they stopped beating me up, but never said sorry.

For the past three years at school I found that when the Weasley twins had a prank it would be on me. They had done some nasty things, but they never stopped. I got used to it, but when they came near me I would flinch away.

Near the end of the year I found myself reading instead of eating and almost passing out every day. I could tell people noticed, but they didn't lift a finger to help. And I knew it would get worse.

From all of my studies I finally was able to turn into an animal. As I thought I turned into a black lynx. I was proud of doing it, but that was all. I didn't feel any happiness.

Sitting by the lake one day I was trying to find the next spell I should learn. Harry Potter walked up to me. I expected another beating so I put my book down and waited for him to start hitting me.

"I'm sorry," Harry said softly, "For everything I've done to you over the past few years. I've done a lot to you I regret and I know you won't be able to forgive me for along time, maybe never, but I hope we could be friends."

I gave him a confused look wondering where all of this came from. He said he was sorry, but I couldn't understand. What had happened that made him say these things to me?

"You're father," he said sighing, "Is innocent. I…I'm sorry. I beat you. I ignored you. And you're my god sister."

"I…My father," I said trying to say what I felt, "I knew he was innocent."

"Yeah," he said reaching to touch me only to have me pull away from him violently, "Wow, it's just me. Why did you pull away?"

Instead of answering I looked down and moved away from him. He gave me a weird look before he realized why I was doing everything I was doing to him. He shook his head sadly.

"Are you afraid of me?" he asked desperately.

"Yes," I said in a whisper.

"Come with me," he said standing up, but not touching me, "I'll bring you to your father."

I was surprised to say the least. I was going to meet my father. After years of wanting him to come and save me I was going to meet him. Standing up I started to limp next to Harry. The injuries I was receiving were getting a lot harder to hide.

"There," Harry said pointing to a door, "Go in."

Biting my lip I gently knocked on the door before entering. My father was resting on a cot and staring out the window. He turned and looked at me curiously before a face splitting grin covered his face.

"Rose," he said happily.

He pulled me into a tight hug causing me to let out a pain filled scream and him to let go. Tears filled my eyes as I tried to reign in the pain, but Harry and my father were already trying to find what was wrong.

I wanted to shake my head and not tell them, but instead I lifted my shirt and showed them the damage that was done to me. Bruises and blood were covering my stomach and chest.

The two men had tears in their eyes when they saw and I heard Harry say he was going to get Madam Pomfrey. My father started to question how I got all the injuries, but all I could say was everyone.


	3. Chapter 3

Madam Pomfrey and Dumbledore came back with Harry. They were shocked by what they saw, but I knew that it wasn't surprising. My father explained that he wanted me to live with him.

I nodded my head shyly in answer. Madam Pomfrey left when she was done. My father wrapped me in a tentative hug. The hug was so gentle that I ended up holding onto him for dear life and sobbing my eyes out.

Dumbledore forced me to leave later that night and I was told to go to his office. When I got there Lucius was sitting in a chair glaring at me. I swallowed hard and tried to calm myself down.

Dumbledore explained that I was no longer going to live at the Malfoy Manor and that Lucius needn't worry about me anymore. When Lucius left he told me I was going to be staying with my father.

Happiness filled me, but I didn't let it show. I nodded my head once and heard him sigh. He told me that I had been treated unfairly throughout my life, but I couldn't bring myself to say he was right.

Sighing I felt tears fill my eyes once more. I wanted nothing more than to tell him what I was doing to myself. Dumbledore could help me if he knew about me hurting myself, but I couldn't bring myself to.

When he said that I could leave I continued to stare at him. He asked me if I had anything I needed to tell him, but instead I took the razor out of my pocket and placed it on his desk.

He gave me a confused look when he saw it before he gave me a sad smile and nodded his head in understanding. I left his office and went to the Common Room only to run into Fred and George Weasley inside.

I backed away from them quickly my eyes wide with fear. They noticed this and shot each other both looks of shame and guilt. Fred reached his hand out to me and smiled softly.

"Rose," George said sighing, "We're sorry that we treated you so badly. You didn't deserve any of it."

"Yeah," Fred said shaking his head, "We are really sorry."

"Don't…Don't worry about it," I said trying to calm my body from shaking.

"You don't have to be afraid of us," George said softly, "We're not going to hurt you."

"I'm sorry," I said biting my lip, "I can't help it."

"Don't be sorry," Fred said motioning for me to sit next to them, "Everything was our fault. We should apologize to you."

"I understand why you did it," I said sitting down.

"We still shouldn't have done it," George said touching my arm gently, "We promise we'll make it up to you."

"You don't have to," I said blushing.

"We want to though," Fred said his hand resting on my knee.

"Why are you blushing?" George asked confused.

"Your hands," I said looking at my lap, "I'm not used to being touched, at least not being touched so gently."

"How are you used to being touched then?" Fred asked concerned.

"I'm used to being hit," I said shrugging.

"The people here beat you up," George said sadly.

"Not just here," I said knowing that I shouldn't be telling anyone but not stopping myself, "At the Malfoy Manor too."

"Do you want us to not touch you?" Fred asked squeezing my leg softly.

"No," I said shaking my head quickly, "I…I have to get used to it."

I knew I was lying to Fred and George. No matter how much I wanted to deny it I had a crush on the Weasley twins. I was never going to say that out loud though. I didn't want them to laugh at me.

"Rose," George said pulling me from my thoughts, "We have to go, but maybe we'll see you over the summer."

"I'd like that," I said blushing again.

"Good-bye," they said in unison and kissing each of my cheeks.

After they left I continued to sit on the couch thinking. The two people that I had crushes on had kissed me. My heart was beating faster than it had ever before. I just wished that I was able to tell them I liked them.

"Rose," Harry said sitting next to me, "Are you okay?"

"Yes," I said nodding, "I am fine."

"Why are you sitting here alone?" he asked cocking an eyebrow.

"Is there any other way to be?" I asked truly confused.

"You're always alone?" he asked pain filling his eyes.

"Yes," I said nodding, "People at school don't like me and the Malfoy family only sees me when they tell me my chores for the day. Even the house elves the Malfoy family own seems to fear me."

"Oh," Harry said angrily.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked confused by his behavior.

"No I did," he said with a sigh, "I shouldn't have judged you on your family, even if your family was wrongfully convicted. You probably hate me now."

"Of course I don't hate you Harry," I said softly, "I could never hate another person. I am sad because of the treatment I've gotten in the past, but the past only shows what has been and what has been is only good if you learn from it."

"Yeah," he said smiling gently, "So tell me about you."

"Well, I live at the Malfoy Manor," I said calmly, "And I read a lot. Oh, can you keep a secret?"

"Yes," he said nodding, "I'm good with secrets."

"I'm an Animagus," I whispered in his ear.

"Like your dad," he said softly.

"My father is one too?" I asked cocking an eyebrow.

"Yes," he said happily, "He's a big black dog. What do you turn into?"

"A black lynx," I said not noticing the smile tugging on my lips, "The same as my Patronus."

"That's really big magic," he said curiously, "How did you learn it?"

"I told you," I said smiling widely this time, "I read a lot. I knew most of what the teachers were teaching us since I read so much."

"How are you not a Ravenclaw?" he asked shaking his head.

"I'm not sure," I said honestly.

"You're one of the top students than," he said impressed.

"I'm the highest ranking student in our year," I said looking away.

"You are?" he asked raising his eyebrows.

"Yes," I said blushing.

"You really are smart," he said yawning.

"You're tired," I said standing up, "We both should go to sleep."

"Yeah," he said standing up too, "Thank you for not being mad."

"Thank you for apologizing," I said going to the stairs, "Goodnight Harry."

"Night Rose," he said smiling, "Sweet dreams.

"You too," I said before climbing the stairs.


	4. Chapter 4

When I was lying in my bed I replayed the day through my mind. Harry, George, and Fred were being nice to me. What did I ever do to them to deserve their kindness? I couldn't come up with an answer, but I knew I had to do something.

Draco kept saying that the only way I was ever going to have friends and keep them that I would have to work for it. How was I supposed to work for it? I didn't know anything about them.

With a sigh I slipped out of my bed and went down to the Common Room. Sitting next to the window I allowed tears to fall. My whole body started to shake with my sobs. I jumped when someone sat next to me.

"It's just George," he said holding his arms up.

"Sorry," I said wiping the tears away.

"Are you okay?" he asked watching me.

"No," I said shaking my head, "How am I supposed to pay you back?"

"Pay me back for what?" he asked confused, "I've done nothing but hurt you. If anything I should pay you back for being so kind to me."

"Draco said…" I tried to explain.

"Malfoy is a fucking idiotic git," he said instantly, "Don't listen to any of the Malfoy's."

"Sorry," I said looking out the window, "I'm not used to interacting with people. I don't know what to do really."

"I can help you if you'd like," he said hopefully.

"Okay," I said blushing, "I'd like that."

"Alright," he said smiling, "Let's start with having a simple conversation."

"Sure," I said facing him, "How do we do that?"

"Just follow me," he said happily, "Hey."

"Hello," I said feeling a smile tug on my lips.

"How are you?" he asked cocking an eyebrow.

"I'm getting better," I said making sure my tears were off my face, "How are you?"

"I'm worried about my friend," he said looking into my eyes, "But she says she's getting better. Although I'm wondering why she isn't asleep?"

"I was thinking too much," I said shyly, "I was wondering what I did to deserve your kindness."

"It's the other way around," he said resting a hand on my knee, "I should be the one wondering why I deserve your kindness. After everything I did to you I wouldn't have been surprised if you completely ignored me."

"I couldn't ignore someone," I said softly, "It would have been rude."

"Rose," he said taking a deep breath, "With everything I've done to you. You still act so sweetly to me. Why aren't you mad?"

"Because I've always had a crush on you," I said blushing, "I guess I just get my hopes up."

"You have a crush on me?" he asked in a whisper.

"Yes," I said looking out the window, "But I know you don't like me like that."

"How do you know I don't?" he said moving closer to me.

"Why would you like me?" I asked confused.

"I don't really know you, but I know that I would like to know you," he said biting the inside of his cheek, "I always thought that you were gorgeous, and I was afraid after I heard about Sirius that you would hate me. I was afraid that I would never have a chance to tell you what I've always wanted to tell you."

"George," I said tears filling my eyes again.

"Shh," he said squeezing my leg softly, "I know that right now we can't do anything, but maybe as we get to know each other and you learn to trust me our relationship can grow."

"You want a relationship with me?" I asked still trying to wrap my head around the idea.

"Yes," he said nodding quickly, "I just hope we can have one."

"Me too," I said looking into his eyes.

"Good," he said grinning, "We just have to get to know each other."

"Yeah," I said smiling back at him, "But first we should probably go to sleep."

"Right," he said laughing and standing up, "Good night Rose."

"Good night," I said standing up also, "Wait, why were you up?"

"I couldn't get you out of my mind," he said softly, "I was afraid you would be mad at me even though you weren't when we talked."

"Oh," I said calmly.

"Good night," he said before climbing up stairs.

I stood in the Common Room for a second as a grin started to spread over my face. My feet started to move upstairs so I could go back to sleep, but I found that my mind was too far gone to think of anything else.

When I got to my room I fell on my bed and almost instantly fell asleep, for the first time I wasn't dreaming of the Malfoy Manor, but of my father and my newly found friends.

Waking up in the morning was harder than normal, but I found that all of my things had already been taken down. Once I got in the Common Room I saw the Weasley family and Hermione and Harry gathered there.

"Rose," Harry said walking up to me and grinning, "You're up late. The train will be leaving soon."

"Oh," I said a little over whelmed.

"Yeah," Hermione said noticing my face, "We all wanted to apologize for the way we treated you. We should know by now not to judge based on heritage."

"It's okay everyone, really," I said holding my hands up, "I'm okay. I'm just wondering how I'm going to get to my fathers."

"Our parents will show you," Fred said as the guys grabbed the trunks, "Merlin what do you have in here Rose?"

"Books," I said trying not to giggle.

"What about you Hermione?" Ron asked picking up hers.

"Same," she said joining my giggling along with Ginny.

"What's your excuse Ginny?" Harry asked getting hers.

"Clothes," she said making us girls laugh out loud.


	5. Chapter 5

As we walked out Hogwarts and to the train I wondered to myself how my father breaking out of Azkaban was the best thing that happened to me. I had friends. George admitted to liking me. Nothing could make this bad.

"Oh look who it is," Draco said walking up to us, "Are these you new friends, a Mudblood, some blood-traitors, and Potty? I always knew you were a freak."

"Sod off Malfoy," George said glaring at him.

"What are you going to do Weasel?" he said with a sneer.

"Nothing," I said in a whisper, "No one is going to do anything."

"Why won't they?" Malfoy said amused.

"Because you're being punished enough," I said calmly.

"Oh," he said rolling his eyes, "And how am I being punished?"

"Because you still have to live with them," I said shaking my head, "You have to go back to the Manor everyday. And I'm sorry for that."

Malfoy stared at me with shock. His eyes were wide and his mouth was open wide. Once he got over his shock he shook his head and glared at me before walking away.

I let out a sigh. What I had said about Malfoy was right, I really was sorry that he had to go back to that hell hole. He never spent time with his parents because they were always away. He might have had everything he ever wanted, but it was a shallow victory for him.

Walking away from the group I went into my normal compartment and sat down. It wasn't for ten more minutes before I heard a soft knock on the door. When I didn't answer the door opened revealing Ginny and Hermione.

Since I was sitting on the floor they sat on either side of me and waited for me too talk. Looking up at the two I tried blinked the tears that were filling my eyes away. I had no clue why I was crying this time, but I doubt I could stop now.

"Shh," Hermione said patting her lap, "Just lay your head down and tell us what's wrong."

Without thinking I did as she said and started to sob into her lap. Hermione's hand ran through my hair as Ginny rubbed my back. It wasn't for awhile longer until I was able to actually talk.

"I don't know why I'm crying," I whispered, "Why am I crying?"

"You're overwhelmed," Ginny said calmly, "It's okay that you're crying. It shows that you're going to be okay. At least you're ready to get there."

"George wants to get to know me," I said wiping the tears away.

"Do you like him?" Hermione asked cocking an eyebrow.

"Yes," I said with a sigh, "But I don't understand why he would want to me with me."

"Why do you think he wouldn't?" Ginny asked softly.

"Because no one would want to date a suicidal abuse idiot," I said not realizing what I was telling them.

Before they could say anything the train stopped and I quickly grabbed my bags and left. Tears fell from my eyes once more at the thought of losing the people that I had just gotten.

"What's wrong?" Harry asked giving me a confused look.

"Nothing," I said moving past him.

"Well, I've to go," he said touching my arm, "I'll see you soon okay?"

"Yeah," I said nodding, "I'll see you Harry."

Harry said goodbye to everyone else before leaving. Fred and George each put their hand out for me to take. Blushing I took their hands and allowed them to take me with them.

"Rose, these are our parents," Fred said motioning to two adults, "My mom and my dad."

"Hello," I said shyly, "It's a pleasure to meet you both."

"Oh Rose," Mrs. Weasley said pulling me into a hug, "I haven't seen you since you were a baby."

My body had completely gone still and my breath picked up. I couldn't help but think about all the times that people had hurt me. Mrs. Weasley must have noticed because she pulled back quickly.

"Are you alright?" she asked confused.

"Not used to being touched yet," I whispered trying to stop shaking.

"Oh," she said tears in her eyes, "Let's get you lot to the house. Hermione you will be coming with us."

"Alright," Hermione said nodding but staring at me.

"Is there something wrong?" Mr. Weasley asked looking between Hermione, Ginny, and I.

"Yes," Ginny said softly, "But we're not ready to talk about it yet."

"Okay," he said confused but letting it go, "Let's go."


	6. Chapter 6

It didn't take long for us to get to a new house. The house was nothing like the Malfoy Manor, for that I was grateful. I didn't know how I would react if I had to think of them when I was at home.

Ginny and Hermione were at the back of the group talking to each other. I wanted to know what they were talking about, but I had a feeling it had to do with me. They were planning something. I just didn't know what.

Mrs. Weasley directed us into the kitchen where Professor Lupin and my father were sitting. My father stood up and grinned at me. I didn't know if I could actually smile back at him so I nodded my head to him instead.

"Sirius," Ginny said her voice fakely calm, "Hermione and I need to talk to you and Rose in private."

"Sure," he said giving me a concerned look.

My father showed us a room and put up a silencing charm. He motioned for the girls to start talking. Hermione and Ginny looked at each other before taking a deep breath.

"Rose," Hermione said biting the inside of her cheek, "Ginny and I talked about what you told us and we believe that Sirius needs to know."

"Needs to know what?" my father asked cocking an eyebrow.

I started to shake my head, but didn't say anything. Sirius continued to stare at me, but the tears falling from my eyes were the only thing that I could focus on. Hermione touched my arm gently and continued to wait.

"Rose told us she was suicidal," Ginny said when I didn't answer.

"Rose," my father said his eyes wide, "Please leave me and my daughter alone."

Once the girls left my father pulled me into another hug. For the first time I felt loved and happy. When he pulled back he pulled the shirt he was wearing off. I gasped when I saw the scars that lingered on his wrists and arms.

"You're not the only one that cut," he said sadly, "Do you want me to tell you?"

"Yes," I said trying to keep calm.

"Okay," he said motioning to the bed, "I started my first year of Hogwarts. I was the first Black to be in Gryffindor. My parents hated me because of that. I loved to act like I was everything, but I really hated myself. So I started to cut myself. Then second year I met James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. They helped me. They gave me a reason to stop. It wasn't until fifth year though that I finally stopped hurting myself. The only reason I stopped is because I cut too deep one day and they found me. I was so close to dying. That day was the last day I hurt myself. Now tell me about yours."

I explained how my life had been and how I started to hurt me. Tears were streaming down my face and my father was holding me close to him. I ended up falling asleep in his arms.

When I woke up I was alone. Standing up I walked out of the room and down into the kitchen. Mrs. Weasley was talking to my father and Professor Lupin. I sat down quietly and waited for them to notice me.

"Rose when did you get here?" Mrs. Weasley asked staring at me.

"Twenty minutes ago," I said softly.

"You're really quiet," Professor Lupin said sitting down.

"I had to be," I said shrugging, "Self-preservation, I guess."

"Oh," he said calmly, "Are you hungry?"

"What?" I asked confused.

"Are you hungry?" he repeated concerned, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I said shaking my head, "Sorry, I guess it's going to take awhile to get used to not being a slave. I mean I only ate after everyone ate, and they usually only had scrapes left so I didn't eat food much."

"Bastard," he said glaring at the table.

"Professor Lupin?" I asked cocking my head to the side.

"You can call me Remus," he said smiling softly, "I just can't believe your family did that to you."

"I got used to it," I said unemotionally, "I just have to get used to this now."

"If you need help just ask," he said nodding his head softly.

"Thank you," I said nodding back, "Harry said that you're an Animagus."

"Yeah," my father said happily, "A big black dog."

"Ah," I said looking away from everyone, "I'm a black lynx. I just learned this year. I had too much time on my hand."

"Dumbledore told me that you have been the highest marking student all three years of being there," my father said sitting down.

"Yes," I said biting my lip, "Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course," he said cocking an eyebrow.

"What do I call you?" I asked making sure I didn't look at anyone.

"Well, you can call me Sirius," he said calmly, "Or you could call me Dad."

"Okay, Dad," I said blushing slightly.

"So are you hungry?" Mrs. Weasley asked smiling widely.

"Sure," I said taking a deep breath, "Do you have any fruit?"

"Yeah," she said a making a bowl of fruit float to me.

"Thank you," I said eating the food slowly.

"Would you like anything more filling?" she asked sweetly.

"No thank you," I said shaking my head, "I'm a vegetarian."

"Oh," she said nodding, "I'm going to wake everyone else up."

"Rose," George said sitting next to me, "How are you?"

"I'm getting better," I said finally looking someone in the eyes, "How are you?"

"I'm good as long as you are," he said grinning.

"George," I said chewing on my lip, "Would it be possible for us to, you know, talk?"

"Of course," he said happily, "How about after breakfast?"

"That sounds good," I said feeling happy but not letting it show.

I had finished eating, but sat at the table waiting for George to finish. Once he was done he stood up and gave me his hand. Blushing again I placed my hand in his and let him pull me up.

"Where are you two going?" Dad asked us eyeing George.

"Just to talk," George said calmly, "So, we'll be up with Buckbeak."

"Okay," Dad said nodding.


	7. Chapter 7

George and I walked up to the attic, our hands linked together. With our hands linked I felt a tingle running up and down my spine. I wanted nothing more than to throw my arms around him and hug him tightly to me.

"Rose," George said closing the attic door, "Are you okay?"

"Yes," I said nodding, "I just want to get to know you."

"You really want to get to know me?" he asked smiling.

"Yeah," I said blushing again, "But if you don't want to…"

"No, I do," he said quickly, "I'm just surprised."

"Oh," I said wrapping my arms around me.

"Hey," he said placing his hands on my arms, "Don't shut down on me."

"Sorry," I said sighing.

"You have nothing to be sorry for if you're trying," he said smiling softly again, "Now, I don't think I've ever seen you smile. That's we need to work on."

"Okay," I said nodding.

"So let's talk," he said both of us sitting on the floor.

George and I talked about our lives. I started first and told him everything that the Malfoy's made me do and what happened to me at Hogwarts. When I started to cry George wrapped his arms around me and let me cry into his shirt.

When I finished crying I kept my head resting on his shoulder and listened to him tell me about his life. He told me how he always felt that no one liked him, besides Fred. Also that he had dreams where he killed himself. Though I was the first person he told besides his older brother Charlie.

"Hey," Dad said opening the door, "Get out here you two. It's time for dinner."

"It is?" I said looking out the window and seeing the sun had gone down, "How long were we up here?"

"About twelve hours," he said shrugging, "Come on."

"Okay," George said standing up and offering me his hand, "Let's go."

George pulled me up and led me out of the room. I didn't even notice that our hands were linked until Fred asked if I was George's girlfriend. Both of us dropped our hands and started to blush.

"Are you two dating?" Dad asked calmly.

"No," George said sighing, "We decided to wait, to get to know each other before that."

"Oh," he said nodding, "So, let's eat."

"Rose," Mrs. Weasley said handing me a plate, "I made you some mashed potatoes, green beans, and a banana."

"Thank you Mrs. Weasley," I said taking the plate, "You didn't have to go to the trouble."

"It's no trouble at all, Dear," she said brushing my thanks off.

"Why are you a vegetarian anyway?" Hermione asked after taking a drink.

"It's stupid," I said blushing.

"It's not stupid if it's important to you," George said making me feel better.

"Okay," I said taking a deep breath, "One day I snuck out of the Malfoy Manor and went to a store. It had so many books and manga's."

"What's a manga?" Ron asked confused.

"It's a Japanese anime book," I explained easily, "Anyway, I found one called Fruits Basket and I started to read them. In the manga a family, the Sohma family, is cursed by the sprits of the Chinese Zodiac. There are thirteen animals, though only twelve are known."

"What are the animals?" Remus asked curiously.

"The monkey, dog, boar, rat, ox, ram, tiger, dragon, rabbit, horse, rooster, and snake are the ones well known. Then there's the cat," I said hoping everyone was getting what I was saying, "You see, God sent out a message saying that he was holding a banquet. The rat went to tell the cat, but the rat told the cat the banquet was the day after it really was being held. So the cat isn't part of the zodiac."

"That's sad," Ginny said shaking her head.

"Yes," I said in agreement, "Well, the people in the Sohma family turn into whatever animal has cursed them when they are hugging by someone of the opposite sex that is outside of the curse or when they are run down."

"How do they fall in love?" Mrs. Weasley asked sitting down at the table.

"They fall in love like everyone else," I said sighing, "But they can't have a relationship."

"Oh my," she said shaking her head.

"My favorite character was either Momiji, the rabbit, or Hatsuharu, the ox," I said biting my lip, "And Hatsuharu, or just Haru, is a vegetarian because he turns into a cow. Now every time I see meat I think of him and I can't eat it."

"It's not stupid," George said rubbing my arm soothingly, "It shows compassion for others, even if they aren't real."

"Thanks," I said wanting to smile but stopping myself, "It was then that I became a bookworm. I even started to draw, but Lucius found one of my drawings and ripped it to shreds before…"

"Before…" Dad gently pushed.

"Before locking me in the basement and beating me," I said tears filling my eyes, "He told me how much they sucked. How ugly they were. Just like their owner."

"You're not ugly," Ginny said shocked, "You're the prettiest girl at school!"

"Yeah," Hermione said jumping in quickly, "You're beautiful. I bet you drawings were too."

"Don't let what he said get to you," Mrs. Weasley said standing up a placing a hand on my shoulder gently, "He was jealous because of how great you are. He wanted to break you and you didn't break."


	8. Chapter 8

Before I knew what I was doing I had stood up and thrown my arms around her and was now sobbing into her shoulder. She muttered comforting words into my ear and held me close to her.

I felt a hand on my back and jumped. When I turned around I saw it was Dad. I leap into his open arms and allowed him to carry me to the couch. He continued to comfort me until I stopped crying.

Although I was done crying I didn't let go of Dad. I needed someone to tell me that I wasn't useless and that I was loved. Being wrapped in someone's arms made me realize what I had been missing all my life.

"Please," I begged looking into Dad's eyes, "Please don't leave me alone again."

"Shh," he said bringing me closer to him, "I'm not going anywhere."

I couldn't believe that I was begging, but I needed him to be here. Hell, maybe I didn't need him, but just someone. Dad loved me. I could tell, but how was I supposed to act. I didn't know what to do.

"How do I do it?" I asked pulling away from him and standing up, "Please tell me how."

"How to do what?" he asked cautiously.

"How do I show that I love you too?" I asked tears filling my eyes again, "How do I show anyone that I love them?"

"You tell them," he said pulling me close to him again, "Just tell them you love them."

"Dad," I said biting my lip, "I love you."

"I love you too, Hun," he said kissing my forehead.

For the first time I could remember I smiled. I looked up at Dad and I smiled before hugging him again. There was nothing more that I wanted from him than to hear he loved me even though he knew my past.

"I promise you I'm not going anywhere and I won't let you go anywhere either," he whispered into my ear, "I just found you. I'm not going to lose you again."

"Thank you," I said before falling asleep in his arms.

When I woke up I felt something warm surrounding me. Opening my eyes I looked around and saw Hermione and Ginny on either side of me. I smiled again; I hoped I would get used to the feeling of smiling.

"Hey Sleeping Beauty," Remus said from the doorway.

"Hello," I said sitting up slightly.

"They didn't want you to be alone when you woke up," he said motioning to the girls, "They care a lot about you. We all do."

"Yeah," I said nodding absently, "And I care about you guys too."

"Good," he said offering a hand, "Now let's go eat."

"Sure," I said taking his hand and letting him pull me up.

"Damn you're light," he said shaking his head.

"I'll work on it," I said rolling my eyes.

"Well, because I feel like it," he said picking me up bridal style, "I'll carry you down."

"My savior," I said jokingly.

"Of course," he said smiling widely.

"What's this?" Dad asked cocking an eyebrow when we got into the kitchen, "You'll carry my daughter, but not me?"

"Yeah," Remus said with a nod.

"Cruel," Dad said mock glaring.

"Dad," I said when Remus put me down, "Guess what."

"What?" he asked his eyes wide.

"I'm going to make pizza," I said loudly.

"I heard the word pizza," George said walking into the kitchen, "Where's the pizza?"

"It's in…" I said looking around acting my age, "Well, I'm not really sure, but once I found it I'll eat it all myself then tell you it's in my stomach."

"You wouldn't do that?" he said paling.

"Watch me," I said grinning.

"You seem a lot happier today," Mrs. Weasley said placing an orange on the table for me.

"I am," I said turning to her, "I'm free. I can love people without being beaten for it. I can talk. I can dance. I can act like a two year old, although I don't see that happening. I'm free from what I was."

"Good," she said happily, "Now what is this I hear about pizza?"

"I'm going to make some pizza," I said before looking down at myself, "Oh my god!"

"What is it?" Dad asked worriedly.

"I haven't taken a shower or changed my clothes in three days!" I said disgusted, "Where's the nearest bathroom?"

"Right next to your bedroom," he said shaking his head.

"Thank you," I said before running to the bathroom.


	9. Chapter 9

I quickly pulled my clothes off and climbed into the shower. Turning the water on I washed my body and my hair thoroughly. I wasn't sure how long it took me, but when I was done I felt better.

When I got out of the shower I realized that I didn't have any clothes to wear. My eyes widened and I wrapped a towel around my body. There wasn't anything I could do, but go get my clothes or get one of the girls to do it for me.

"Umm…" I said opening the door, "Who all is here?"

"Just George and I," Remus said from the living room, "Do you need something?"

"Sort of," I said biting my lip, "But I'll wait until one of the girls comes back."

"You'll be waiting awhile," George said calmly, "They won't be back for hours."

"Oh," I said taking a deep breath, "This is awkward."

"What do you need?" Remus asked walking to the door which I had poked my head out.

"Clothes," I said blushing.

"We can get them," he said shrugging.

"Do you really want to touch my bra and underwear?" I asked cocking an eyebrow, "I mean can you get the right ones?"

"There's a difference?" he asked confused.

"Yes," I said nodding, "They have to match and it depends on the weather which one to wear, and then depends on the outfit you wear and what you're going to be doing and who is going to be with you."

"Are you serious?" he said his eyes wide.

"Yes," I said laughing, "You have to think it through."

"Maybe you should get them yourself," he said shaking his head as George walked up.

"What's going on?" he asked leaning on the wall.

"Just telling Remus how much thought it comes from picking out what bra and underwear to wear," I said smiling.

"Oh the images," he said shutting his eyes.

"Sirius will hurt you if you ever say that in front of him," Remus said staring at George.

"It's not like I can help it," he said defensively, "I've had a crush on her, on you, since I saw you on the train. I wanted to come talk to you, but I was afraid and I let that fear rule me. Please don't hate me."

"Oh George," I said opening the door and pulling him into a hug, "I'm not mad at you and I could never hate you."

"Rose," he said burying his head in my hair, "I love you. I really do. I always have. I love you so much."

"George," I said tears in my eyes, "Thank you. I…I love…I love you too."

"Shit," he said placing a hand on the back of my neck and pressing his lips against mine.

My hands wrapped around his neck and I kissed back with all I had. I didn't even have to think about it. Kissing George felt natural. The only thing I was focused on is feeling George's lips on mine.

"Fuck," George said pulling away and blushing, "I'm going to go hide in my room."

"Okay," I said confused.

I wanted to ask what was wrong, but then he shifted and I felt how hard he was. A blush covered my face too. He kissed my lips softly once before walking quickly to his room.

"Wow," Remus said staring at me.

"Yeah," I said blushing.

"I'm going to go wipe the spit off my shoes," he said jokingly.

"Sorry," I said biting my lip, "That was my…"

"Your what?" he asked smiling.

"My first kiss," I said grinning up at him, "He was my first kiss."

"Good," he said kissing my forehead, "Now you should get dressed before your father comes down."

"I thought you said no one else was here," I said confused.

"Sirius is moping with Buckbeak," he said sadly.

"Wait," I said staring at him, "Do you have a crush on Dad?"

"Please don't judge me on that," he said looking down.

"Remus," I said hugging him tightly, "I would never judge someone because of who they like."

"You do know I'm a werewolf, right?" he said resting his head on my head.

"Yes," I said rubbing his back, "And I don't care. You're one of the sweetest people I know. I could never hate you because of that."

"Thank you," he said pulling back, "Now go get dressed, or at least think of what you're going to wear."

"Oh I have it all figured out already," I said winking and going to my room.

I closed my door and went to my trunk. Pulling out a black bra with green apples on them and matching underwear I slipped them on quickly. Next I grabbed a soft green dress and white tights. Once they were on I got white ballet shoes and laced them up. The last thing I put on was a long tan leather trench coat.

Smiling I was happy to be wearing clean clothes. I can't believe how much better I felt now that I had taken a shower and changed my clothes. Everything was coming at me quickly and I had to get used to this new life still.

My hand pressed to my lips and I felt like I could still feel George's lips on mine. My life was falling in place. I finally had a family that didn't hate me and I had someone that loved me as a lover.

I couldn't believe how lucky I was, but I knew I couldn't let it go. My life was with Dad and George and Remus and Mrs. Weasley and everyone else. And for the life of me I wouldn't have changed anything about my past because I probably wouldn't have what I have right now without them. I was happy now. I just wished that everyone else would find the same happiness even if it takes getting hurt to find it.


End file.
